I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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