No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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