please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
