Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
