No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
