Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
