i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
