Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize