i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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