Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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