but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
