im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
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One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
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My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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