My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize