those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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