your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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