i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
