Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
