Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
