whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Randomize
