Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
