Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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