Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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