Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
