I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize