I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
