he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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