great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
