the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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