we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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