We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Small penises have feelings too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
