is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Vodka?
Forever.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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