The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I hate all girls vehemently.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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