i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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