do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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