there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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