I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Your penis caused this!
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