i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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