Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
