I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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