Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
