I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
