I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
