dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we made out on top of his cat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
