There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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