i already hear my dad disowning me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
