great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
