I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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