She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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