as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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