how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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