i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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