Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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