Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
