i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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