The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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