so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
