sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
