If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
