so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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